Comment from my wife's blog...

This was posted on my wife's blog by my long lost friend who better be coming to Dallas soon, read it here in the comments after my wife's awesome post about your's truly: http://meditatewithme.blogspot.com. It's awesome, hilarious, and frog-in-the-throat causing.

If ever there were a dork to me
If ever this was a possibility
If ever one was filled with Glee
Compare Rick Harper and this you'll see

I first met Rick who used Arnold's voice
Thy husband thought he had the jokes of choice
But the Eastern spiders at University Terrace
were no match for one of God's fairest

The heavens agree, I have not doubt
Thy husband who was once muscular and stout
Thy arms have shrunk, thy chest is weary
Replaced with theological query

He's serving God with an unknown zeal
All spiders in his path he will kill
The lurking widow and brown recluse
and Satan's infection of the blues
Cannot stifle this man of God
To Dallas or Austin he will carry Aaron's rod
A priest of Christ he has become
No longer a dead sinful bum

To Dallas we must ride where the sun will set
To see the Harpers and coffee get
The friendship of the H Houses will not stop
Our horses will ride to the coffeeshop!

Drinking and talking: it gets no riper
Discussing Luther, Calvin, and Piper
Talking and laughing, scorning and mocking
The poor and pathetic Arminian church doctrine

Oops. We've judged a whole people
People who worship under the same steeple
Forgiveness we seek; we'll pray in the lot
With the bad breath of an espresso shot

Back home to our wives who are on the phone with each other
Acting so strange, kind of like my mother
"What were ya'll doing?" the wives humbly ask
"We were at the pub sharing a flask!"
"No way" she said behind images of hell
"Yes way" I said as I wished we drank ale

"Just joking" I said. Just coffee for us
As we sat, sipped and tried to discuss
The tenets of faith, hope, and love
Losing salvation and the Spiritual dove

Stop with the rhymes. We must leave now
In a car, a plane, or a saddled cow
To Dallas we go. On Jupiter lane
My coffee and talk just isn't the same
Without thy husband it's different you see
No more cups of undilluted VB
The conversation is stale the coffee is bad
I talk to myself; isnt' that sad?

I get me a Demon and stay up half the night
All by myself in P.J.'s dim light
The atheists and gays won't talk to me
My friend is in Austin learning theology
I tell the clerk, "Please put my coffee on the tab until
My friend comes to pay with a fake dollar bill"
No, it's not fake I laugh at the girl
It's his grandpa's, you see, he's the jokester of the world
She frowns, she doesn't get it
My attempt at humor has failed
Thy husband's not here, so I embarrasingly bailed
Out of the shop and back to my house
To be with my wife and fight with the mouse

from THE LOST POEMS OF ANNE BRADSTREET